Daniel Teeter

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Alcohol & Toxic Masculinity: Where Men Go Wrong

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Breadwinner. Player. Warrior. Dickhead.

THE MANLY EFFECT

For men who imagine themselves as Chad alphas, the words above may be the ultimate badges of honor. It presents a vision of manhood that implies success is all about the ass you can kick and the ass you can get – no room for blue pill betas. It’s also a vision of masculinity that dooms most men to failure.

This image of hypermasculinity, and its demands, is problematic: not just for women, children, other men, and anyone not conforming to “traditional” perceptions of gender, but for the individuals themselves. Hypermasculinity is often associated with violence, social dominance, anti-intellectualism, and aggressive, if not overwrought, sexuality. And this bonus: a higher likelihood of alcohol abuse.

THE INCONVENIENCE OF EMOTION

Discussions of masculinity often focus on how it affects women, but the biggest victim may be men themselves. Beginning as children, men are discouraged – shamed even – from showing emotion. Hard emotions, like anger, may be encouraged while the expression of soft emotions, the argument goes, is considered feminine behavior. (Boys don’t cry.) Without socially acceptable outlets for expressing these emotions (sadness, grief, loneliness, fear) for men, they may turn to drugs and alcohol. Studies show men have much higher rates of alcohol use and abuse than women; social drinking among men can be seen as a cultural symbol of manliness.

Because alcohol is at once so accessible and acceptable as a way of managing emotions for men, it is particularly dangerous: The risk of suicide is eight times greater when alcohol is involved. Also, heavy drinking increases the likelihood of risky behaviors, such as driving under the influence and not wearing a seatbelt. This increases risk for injury or death.

Even one session of heavy drinking, according to research, can sufficiently reduce inhibitions to make someone more likely to act on suicidal feelings. Drinkers are more prone to impulsive behavior. Alcohol is also known to deepen depression.

THE PILLARS OF SYMBOLIC MASCULINITY

The Breadwinner: If your identity is wrapped up in your ability to bring home the bacon, then your manliness is under constant threat. Your manliness will be dependent on your financial situation which, in turn, is dependent on the whims and vagaries of an employer or the market. Your self-worth and self-image are entirely dependent on forces beyond your control. You live under the endless dread that it could all be taken away.

The Player: The myth that women are attracted to players is not all myth as it turns out. On a genetic level, women are biologically predisposed to players. The player, it seems, will have the strongest sperm. Studies show that even experience won’t deter her from choosing the alpha jerk: the biological imperative is too strong. Being a player can also require a certain amount of moral and ethical compromise. Unless you’re completely upfront about your intentions at the onset, being a player can demand dishonesty, emotional detachment, and, unless you’re a sociopath, guilt.

The Warrior: As a warrior you live under constant fear. Any moment of weakness imperils your status, and the self. Again, your power can be stolen – someone else can take you from badass to bitch in a moment. It doesn’t even have to be dramatic: Any insult, slight, or a failure to show sufficient respect can drop you. Efforts to reestablish power can have consequences, and in more extreme cases, result in violence. Warriors often use alcohol for courage.

The Dickhead: Toxic masculinity can render men unwilling to view women as human beings. This can not only effect how the individual acts toward women himself, but also allows bad behavior to go on even when witnessed by other men. It is also an instigator of violence. On the surface, the Dickhead is appealing – he’s assertive, self-confident, and seemingly in control. He can also be entitled, arrogant, selfish, and demand much attention. Often, this projection of self-assurance is a compensation for a feeling of inadequacy and vulnerability. The lesson learned from their past was that passivity only leads to feelings of jealously and irrelevancy.

All the above can be invitations for alcohol and drug abuse.

HOW TOXIC MASCULINITY AFFECTS MEN'S DRINKING

For men, the legacy of toxic masculinity includes higher rates of suicide – men comprise 80% of all suicides – and incarceration – men make up 93% of all prisoners. Men consume significantly larger amounts of alcohol, get more drunk more often, and have higher rates of alcohol dependency than women. Men are outlived women by an average of 10 years. This is because men will wait longer to acknowledge an illness, will wait longer to get help, and don’t cooperate as well in their treatment as do women.

And then there's binge drinking: Men concerned with maintaining classical masculine behavior patterns are also associated with a higher likelihood of binge or episodic drinking. Men who feel a greater need to prove their masculinity, and especially those who need to prove their manliness through promiscuity, are much more prone to excessive drinking. Of the six Americans who die every day from binge drinking, the majority are men. Strangely, according to the CDC, most casualties of binge drinking are not even dependent on alcohol; fewer than one-third of deaths happen to alcoholics.

What's the answer?

Men need not to be afraid to ask for help. They need to learn not to run from or deny their feelings. Masking emotions with drugs and alcohol is not only unhealthy and dangerous, it also doesn’t address the problem. Men need to understand that there are more constructive forms of help available.